I am so very sorry to hear of your loss. I, myself, am a recovering heroin addict. I can only imagine the pain that you must feel as a parent, as a family. I pray deep for people like yourselves, and all in the same breathe, your message teaches me a lesson. I started using at the age of 10, 12 when I started using heroin. I had many close calls to death, and can only tell you that I must have been lucky. Again, so sorry for your pain......peace to your hearts.
C Poston <Tragyk2@aol.com>
Garland, TX USA - Sunday, March 26, 2000 at 21:16:22 (EST)
So sorry to hear of your loss and struggle.I am adjusting to the recent death of my brother.From a drug overdose.It came as a big shock as I new he used other things I did not know how it had gone so far..Ihave not been able to tell my mother that herion was involved as she had already lost my younger brother to cot death ,along time ago.I am the only one left to protect her.Keep up the good work.I couldn't find anyone else to talk to who would understand.take care!!!!!
simone wall <tmd@primus.com.au>
australia, USA - Sunday, March 26, 2000 at 06:35:56 (EST)
Mrs Allen,I would like to thank you for coming to my school and making people aware of the uses of heroin and how it can take somebody away from you that you truly love. I give you alot of credit for standing up in front of a bunch of students and telling what happened to your daughter. Only somebody who was really strong would be able to do that. Thank you again. I know you made alot of people open up their eyes. God bless you.
Priscilla <cillaofpa@aol.com>
Pittston , Pa USA - Saturday, March 25, 2000 at 17:07:59 (EST)
My heart goes out to you for your loss as I lost a childhood friend because of Heroin. He was the last person in the world you would expect to die from drugs as he was a surgeon. I miss him so much and I know how you must feel. I salute you for coming out and letting others know how Heroin is nothing but death. I was fortunate that I sought help and discovered the drug Buprenex which stopped the withdrawal symptoms so I could deal with my addiction and start a nutrition program to boost my bodies ability to stay away from drugs, heal my brain and discover the spiritual side of my life. I cried so hard when I read your story of Erin and I pray for you daily for your strenth and for your commitment to venture out and share the horrors of Heroin so that the lives of others may be spared. I have such respect for you and do love you with the love of God. Be strong and know in your heart others such as myself do pray for you and are supporting you. Your Friend Lloyd Hollywood Florida USA
Lloyd <zappa@bellsouth.net>
Hollywoof, FL USA - Friday, March 24, 2000 at 17:22:58 (EST)
Thank you so much for sharing Erin's story. She sounds like she was a beautiful person, and I am moved to tears by reading about this. One of my best friends became a heroin addict, and it was one of the most painful experiences in my life. I have started the Internet Campaign Against Heroin to increase education and awareness, as I do not want my daughter or anyone I care about (or even a complete stranger) to experience this. God Bless you and your family.
Jenn aka Harleen <harleen@antiheroin.cjb.net>
Fort Lauderdale, FL USA - Friday, March 24, 2000 at 16:33:11 (EST)
Dear Mrs. Allen, You spoke at the assembly at Pittston High School a few weeks ago and it was unbelievable,so sad & real, that I think it affected, touched & even scared many people. More then a couple people cried at the last picture of Erin. Although it must be hard, keep up what you are doing, keep getting the word out about what heroin really does.
Ryan Tucker <tuckerry@pa.freei.net>
Duryea, PA USA - Friday, March 24, 2000 at 16:19:40 (EST)
Dear Allen Family My heart goes out to you and all who suffer the losses caused by the disease of addiction. I was 45 years of age before I could get free of the demonic grip of heroin. I tell my story at www.acay.com.au/~narcosis Congratulations on taking a stand. narcosis
narcosis <narcosis@acay.com.au>
Sydney, NSW AUSTRALIA - Friday, March 24, 2000 at 02:20:21 (EST)
Today I am clean 16 years from all drugs including alochol. I used Marijuana, Hashish, Inhalants, Nitrous Oxide, Amyl Nitrite, Cocaine, Crack Amphetamines, Methamphetamines, Ritalin, Benzedrine, Barbiturates, Tranquilizers, LSD, PCP, Mescaline, Heroin, Codeine, Methadone, Fentanyl, Valium, Psilocybin, Librium, Crank, Hydrocarbons, Quaaludes, Nicotine, Opium, Morphine, Alcohol. Now with the help of Narcotics Anonymous I am able to live a happy, joyous and free life. Any addict can get clean , however most addicts end up in jail , die , or institutionalisedin mental hospitals. There is hope for any addict. Complete abstinence is probably the best method for addicts to remain and get clean. My parents ha dto dis own me and when the time was miraculously right I ended up in a total abstinence drug treatment center. After that I was forced to go to Narcotics Anonymous. After a while I started going for myself . On my own I would have never had the desire to stop taking drugs . But lots of exposure to totally clean addicts gave me the hope and strength. I am aginst giving addicts any medication of any kind because of my own experience and watching addicts get clean over 16 years. I beleive only one in a thousand make it. Today I am employed and a productive member of society. If you know of an addict send them to Narcotics Anonymous because thats where addicts get and stay clean.
Chris Keeley <addict@intervention.org>
Washington, DC USA - Friday, March 24, 2000 at 00:00:39 (EST)
I started shooting heroin at the age of 19.At the age of twenty five I cried out to Jesus Christ to forgive me to change my hurting life. That day he did!! I never used again from that beautiful day on. I have been 17 years clean. I am the Founder & Executive Director of a one year residential program for drug and alcohol addicted teens in Pennsylvania. My heart breaks for teens on drugs. We must reach them.
Chuck McClanahan <innkeepr@nb.net>
Warfordsburg, Pa USA - Tuesday, March 21, 2000 at 14:47:22 (EST)
Mr.Allen, I am so sorry about your daughter. Thank YOU for thanking me for visiting your site. I thought I would post this, so others might get something positive out of it. Here is my story- I grew up in Redwood City, CA. I had a rather normal childhood, in a good family, upper middle-class. I was adopted as a baby, an only child until I was almost 12, when my sister was born. My parents always said I was smart enough to be anything I wanted to be-they still say that. Too bad I chose to use all my brains for my heroin addiction for 3 long years. I had made a lot of mistakes, but I was starting to get on the right track, going to junior college and working, until disaster struck. I moved in with a boyfriend when I was 17. When I turned 18 my birth mother found me. (My birth parents were 14 years old when they had me.) I left the boyfriend and got my own apartment. I dropped out of college and quit my job. I had to more jobs but they each lasted 3 to 4 months before I quit or got fired. A year after my birth mom found me, in Sept. 1993, I found my heroin addict birth father in San Francisco County Jail. When he was released in March 1994, I let him move in with me in my then studio apartment. I thought I was going to save him-give him a new chance at life. I was so naive. I had no idea what heroin addiction makes a person capable of. I had never done drugs except smoke pot, which I had quit. He was a sick person. He said he was in love with me as a girlfriend, and that it was OK because he didn't raise me. He started to drink alcohol again, which made him violent and abusive. He would beat me if I tried to take away his alcohol, and demand I drive him to San Francisco to get heroin, or threaten to leave if i didn't. I was caught up in the insanity, and didn't want him to leave. He had me convinced I was so stupid that no one else would want me, and that my family didn't give a damn about me. I thought I had only him. 3 months after he got out of jail he got me pregnant. I lied to my adopted parents about what was going on. I thought I deserved the abuse. June 95 when the baby was 3 months old he introduced me to heroin for the first time. I welcomed the escape. When I was high I didn't care if he beat me up whenever the baby cried. All I cared about was dope. We lost our apartment in March 1996 because we used the rent money for dope. At that point we had drained my bank accounts and pawned anything of value. We went to stay in San Francisco hotels, and we got our money for dope by me stealing then selling Levis jeans. When the car broke down, I started to get caught stealing, which led to me going to jail and losing the baby, lucky for my daughter. While I was in jail my birth father ended up sleeping on the streets, pushing a shopping cart and recycling aluminum cans, cardboard, plastic and glass bottles. He blamed me for losing our child. I know she deserved better than living in hotel rooms and sleeping in a stroller, seeing us do drugs and me getting hit all the time. In jail I started to see the wrongness of what my birth father was doing to me. I made friends in jail, who helped me see the truth. I tried to escape my birth father by going to live in Mexico when I got out of jail June 1997, with this guy I met through letters while in jail. I stayed almost the entire month of July, then the guy flew me back with $4 to my name. I stayed with a girlfriend I met in jail, and started to go into San Francisco to get heroin. I overdosed several times, and almost died. It didn't slow me down. My birth father found me on the street in S.F. and I fell into his clutches again. For about a month I slept outside on the streets with him. Then in late Sept. I got sick of it and decided to become a hooker. I left my birth father, and he went to jail for 2 weeks. When he got out I let him stay with me in my hotel room. We slept during the day, and I went to work at night. I made good money. I met a dealer who became my best friend. I started to spend all my free time shooting dope with him, while my birth father stayed in my hotel room, whining and complaining that I never spent time with him, and that he needed more dope. In the end heroin freed me from him. The heroin simply became more important to me, and I got tired of always supporting his habit, as it meant less dope for me, so I kicked him out of the hotel in Dec.97. My best friend moved in with me, and we became a couple. He enabled me to stop selling my body, and sell dope instead. We had ups and downs, and in the downs I went back to prostitution. Then we realized I was pregnant in March 98, and we knew it was either my birth father's baby or a trick's. I was already over 16 weeks pregnant, and by the time I got my act together to try to get an abortion, it was too late. Things got harder as I began to show more and more. It got to the point of where our habits were too big to make enough money off of dealing. We used too much, so we did not have enough to sell. I could no longer get dates, because I was now 7 months along. The police were doing raids, cracking down on the drug trade. I felt like I was on borrowed time. Then, my boyfriend's brother came up from Mexico to try to intervene and save his brother. One day, my boyfriend came back with an 8th of an ounce of heroin, told me to "bag it up" for selling, while he went shopping with his brother. He said he would be back by 6pm with food for me. (There was no food, and we owed rent from the day before.) He never came back. I later found out he flew to Mexico with his brother. It SAVED my life. The next morning the manager kicked me out of the room. For 4 hours I tried to turn a trick, with no success. At 8pm I gave up and went to the train station to beg the conductor to let me ride South to Redwood City. The nice man gave me $2 so I could call my parents. I was so scared. I had a limited amount of heroin, and I knew when it ran out I was going to be very very sick, and might lose the baby. I was ready to stop using at that point. I arrived in Redwood City at 10pm. I had not seen my parents for over 6 months. I called from a payphone, and my Dad answered. He said that my Mom and sister were away visiting my grandparents, and that I couldn't come to the house, and hung up. I had no money to get back to San Francisco, and no way to make money if I did. My Dad had no idea I was pregnant. I grabbed a shopping cart from the nearby Safeway market, and put all my luggage in it. I slowly made my way to the house, looking for a place to sleep in bushes. I found nothing suitable, and then I was at the house. The lights were all out, so I snuck into the back, behind the garage, and made a nest out of clothes. In the morning Dad found me on his way to work. I told him I was pregnant, had no way to make money, and that I was on drugs, and would get very sick soon. He started to cry and sent me into the house to clean up. He went to work while I waited for my Mom to get back. Of course I lied and said I had no heroin or needles. This was a Weds. when I got there, and on Sat. morning at 11am, I shot up for the last time. My Mom had been making phone calls trying to get help for me. I was so messed up from drugs I stuttered and couldn't speak what I wanted to say. By Sunday evening I was delirious, and my parents drove me to the general hospital. I was given Valium, and was totally out of it. Later my Mom told me that while I was on Valium, I was wildly looking for something on the table by the bed, and when Mom asked me what I was doing, I told her I was looking for my brain. I was transferred to Stanford Hospital, where there was a Maternity Ward. They put me on Methadone right away, so I would not lose the baby. A social worker found a Methadone Clinic for me to go to when I was released from the hospital 4 days later. God came through again for me, and a residential drug treatment progarm called Womens Recovery Center called us back and said they wanted me to come and interview. They took me in that day. That night I started having contractions. It was a Thurs. Friday afternoon I went to San Francisco General in full labor. It was 2 and a half months too early for the baby to be born. I had no veins left, so an I.V. was put in my neck, in my jugular. They were able to hold off the birth until Sunday at 2am on Father's Day. I had another girl. She was in the hospital for 5 weeks. She was 3 lbs. 12 oz. at birth. Both of us tested negative for drugs, but she still had to be detoxed. I wanted to try to keep her, so for 4 months we struggled with 3 other moms and 3 other kids. Amanda was sickly, and had constant colds, and difficulty breathing normally. I took her to the doctor several times, and they didn't help her at all. Then she got reallt sick, and had to return to the hospital beacuse it turned out to be a bacterial infection instead of a virus. She developed 2 hernias in her groin from screaming in the Emergency Room when the doctors and nurses were poking her with needles, and had to have surgery. The police came and questioned me because the paramedics called them and said they thought Amanda was sick due to my negligence. (When I called 911 we were alone in the house, home sick, while staff and the other residents were at classes.) Luckily I was able to show that I was in a program, under supervision by staff at almost all times, and the program director straightened it all out. But I was left convinced it was my fault Amanda was sick. She was released from the hospital a week later, and time went on. Things were getting harder and harder for us. I had issues about not knowing who Amanda's father was. I feel now she is in fact my birth father's. In Nov. the program decided that I needed more help than they could give me. I was deeply depressed, and exhausted from caring for Amanda. I had no breaks from her needs. I didn't have the option of dropping her off at a sitter's, and I didn't trust the other moms to watch her, as their kids were rough with Amanda. So one day in Nov. 98, Child Protective Services came while we were in classes to take Amanda into Foster Care. They said they had a new program for me that could help with my depression, a transition house that had more freedom. At the time I was devastated. But things improved. I have been there ever since. My Mom and Dad that raised me- (my REAL parents) went through a lot of the same things I am sure you did. I stole from them, I lied to get money, and I took them for granted even though I loved them. I did so many things I never would have done if I was in my right mind. I am aware of how lucky I am to have escaped heroin with my life, and to get a chance to make it all up to my family. They alone make enough reason for me to never go back to using, even though I know I am supposed to do it for me as well. My Mom and Dad blamed themselves a long time for my addiction, when they asked me where they failed me,I was horrified! I told them I had a wonderful childhood, and my disease really had nothing to do with them, and everything to do with me. I hope you know that you were not at fault for what happened to Erin, I know she would want you to know that. You made the right decisions about not bailing her out when she went to jail and/or prison. My parents were put in similar positions whenever I got put in jail for shoplifting. If they had bailed me out, I know I would have gone straight to heroin, and wouldn't have shown up at court, and they would have lost whatever they put up for the bail. Thank God I didn't get the chance to do that. Going to jail was the only thing that kept me clean. From June 95 to June 98 the time I was not loaded was the 10 and a half months I spent in jail. All the things I said I would NEVER do for heroin, I did. I remember my first attempt at 21-day Methadone detox. I tried the detox 4 times with no success.)There was a woman in the waiting room with track marks on her neck, and she asked me if I ever injected into my neck veins. I thought- I'll stop before it gets that bad. Later on in my addiction I collapsed veins in both sides of my neck. I said I would NEVER sell my body, but Sept. of 97 I started doing just that. While in my current program, I made the difficult decision to have the family that adopted my first child adopt Amanda as well. I know it was the right choice. I have held the same job at a dog grooming shop for a year, and will graduate this program this year. I am saving my money to get a car. I have found some self esteem and forgiveness of myself. I like myself for the first time since early childhood. Next Fall I plan to go to college to get certification to be a Substance Abuse Counselor. I want to help other addicts. I attend 12-Step meetings, and spend most weekends with my parents or birh mother. I have learned a sense of responsibility and have learned to take care of myself. I still have hard times, but they are a luxery compared to my problems I faced while on drugs. Just having a nice safe clean bed at night makes me grateful! I have continued with my Methadone Maintenance treatment, and have been slowly tapering off it towards a totally drug-free life. Methadone makes me feel normal. I don't feel high from it. It costs me $250 a month, and I can't wait to be off it. Since I am in a program I only have to go to my clinic once a week to get my week's supply, instead of having to go everyday. I want you to know that I really appreciate your web site, and I feel for you. I was feeling very nervous, I had had a hard day at work because my memories of my active addiction were flooding my mind all day. When I got home I typed "heroin" in the search engine, and your site came up. It helped me to feel better when I read Erin's story, because it reminded me that I am NOT alone. Thank you, and I wish the best for you and your family. Samantha
Samantha Garehime <CreepyLittleFrog@aol.com>
Fairfax, CA USA - Monday, March 20, 2000 at 19:31:40 (EST)
I AM SO SORRY FOR YOUR LOSS,I TO AM A HEROIN ADDICT.HOWEVER,I HAVE BEEN CLEAN FOR 3 MONTHS(THIS TIME),I JUST GOT OUT OF A JAIL DRUG PROGRAM AND IM ON HOUSE ARREST.ERINS STORY MAKES ME CRY,I TOO HAVE BURRIED EVERY ONE OF MY FREINDS (14 YEP 14 OF THEM)IN THE PAST 4 YEARS,ONE OF THEM BEING MY N.A. SPONSER (rip al k.)AND DIDNT THINK I COULD CRY ANY MORE!I AM 28 YEARS OLD AND HAVE BEEN ON HEROIN FOR ABOUT 8 YEARS OR MORE,MY BEAUTIFUL FIANCE(JENNIFER)IS IN A 6 MONTH COURT ORDERED PROGRAM AS A RESULT OF HERION TOO.WE WERE BUSTED TOGETHER AND SENT TO PROGRAMS,BUT I BUCKED THE 6 MONTH DEAL BY SNEAKING IN MY DOPE AND NODDING DURING AT THE MEETINGS.I WAS IMMEDIATELY HAULED OFF TO THE 3 MONTH JAIL PROGRAM,AND IT SAVED MY LIFE,CAUSE I WASNT STRONG ENOUGH.IVE BEEN BROUGHT BACK TO LIFE IN EMERGANCY ROOMS AND STILL WANTED MY NEXT SHOT OF SATAN(HEROIN)!WHAT A SICK,TWISTED,EVIL DRUG(NOT TO BLAME SOMETHING FOR MY DISEASE)BUT RIGHT NOW IM FIGHTING IT,I AM NOT AFRAID OF DYING ANYMORE SO I AM DOING IT FOR MY LOVING PARENTS FOR NOW,AS I NEED TO LEARN HOW TO DO IT FOR MYSELF.I THINK YOU ARE DOING MANY PEOPLE A GREAT SERVICE WIHT THIS SITE AND YOUR LECTURES,AS IT IS A STEPPING STONE FOR ME AND MY BATTLE IN RECOVERY,I NEEDED TO HEAR ABOUT ERIN,I NEEDED TO CRY TONIGHT,I CANT THANK YOU ENOUGH!YOU ARE A GODSENT! THANK YOU SO VERRY MUCH FOR MAKING ME THINK ABOUT ME AND MY JENNIFER AND OUR FUTURES! MUCH LOVE&SYMPATHY......RACIN JASON.
Jason Labella <skavmpre@aol.com>
margate, florida USA - Sunday, March 19, 2000 at 04:23:38 (EST)
KYLE If you ever want to stop using, Methadone has worked for me. I will have been off heroin (and cocaine) for 2 years this June. I have been on Methadone, and am now slowly getting off of it. I had to hit rock bottom before I was ready to stop shooting up. I stopped because it became totally impossible for me to continue using. My Boyfriend/dealer left me to go back to Mexico, and I was 7 months pregnant, and couldn't turn anymore tricks because the men could see I was pregnant. There is a different life out there, I bet you are thinking "Yeah, one I don't want to live." But- I can tell you that today, because I am doing the right things for me, I feel the same sense of safety, happiness, and contentment that I got when I injected heroin. Today, those feelings are not the illusion heroin provides while in reality EVERYTHING IS FALLING APART. They are REAL, and I won't wake up puking, dope sick in the morning. I lost almost everything to heroin. Including my life. I did lots of time in jail. I lost my children. I even slept in the bushes in San Francisco, because I was homeless. I used my rent money for dope, and sold anything and everything I owned for it. Then, when I had nothing left, I stole things to sell. When it got to the point where I was to go to prison for 3 years if I got busted for stealing one more thing, that's when I started to sell myself for dope. I wish only the best for you, Samantha
Samantha <CreepyLittleFrog@aol.com>
Fairfax, CA USA - Friday, March 17, 2000 at 20:05:01 (EST)
Dear Mrs. Allen, You spoke at the assembly at Pittston High School today and it was unbelievable,so sad & real, that I think it affected, touched & even scared many people. More then a couple people cried at the last picture of Erin.Although it must be hard, keep up what you are doing, keep getting the word out about what heroin really does. ~ Stephanie
Stephanie
Harding, Pa USA - Thursday, March 16, 2000 at 19:40:34 (EST)
Dear Mrs. Allen, I'm so very sorry about Erin. I just have to tell you that I give you all the credit in the world for standing up and telling us Erin's story at my school. It really touched my heart, and all of the others that were there. You are such a wonderful person to have done that. Thank you so much. God Bless and take care Sarah
Sarah <Freezan8or@aol.com>
Pittston, Pa USA - Thursday, March 16, 2000 at 16:32:24 (EST)
Dear Mrs. Allen, Today March 17, 2000, you came to Pittston Area High School, and I would just like to say thank you for making me and my fellow student realized just how bad this drug is. I know that you have touched many of us today, because i have never seen so many of my friends affected by an assembly. I just wanted to say thank you and God bless you and your family.
Melissa <StarrlightZero>
Duryea, PA USA - Thursday, March 16, 2000 at 16:21:49 (EST)
KYLE: Bookmark the HOTLINE URL Page (self help list) YOU WILL NEED IT...
Kitty <mkt_sys@yahoo.com>
Newark/Wilmington, DE USA - Wednesday, March 15, 2000 at 07:55:37 (EST)
Kyle,I feel real bad for you, hope you can get help soon!
Tajm
USA - Tuesday, March 14, 2000 at 18:14:46 (EST)
I Love heroin. It is so good, when i inject it i feel so good. It Makes Me very high. Im going to do it right after i get off this damn website I love heroin.
Kyle <Matcyk>
Calgary, AB Canada - Tuesday, March 14, 2000 at 16:31:54 (EST)
Dear Marie, My heart goes out to you and your family. I was a parent at the AGHS last evening to hear the program on Heroin. What an ugly drug. I have an 11 yr. old son, that I felt that I had to have some background on this topic. I am also a bus driver for AG and need to know the warning signs of this deadly drug. I just wanted to thank you and your husband for the presentation. I just hope that it affected our young kids as it did me as a parent. I also know that if you are ever in our area again that I will take my son, so he can see first hand what this awful drug does. God bless you.
Jill <jew35_99@yahoo.com>
Landenberg, PA USA - Tuesday, March 14, 2000 at 09:53:42 (EST)
Iam very sorry about Erin. I just finished watching the "A & E Investigative Reports" and saw you talking about Erin. After the show, I got on the computer and started some reasearch about heroin addiction. My youngest sister lives in San Diego. She has been into one form of drug or another. And for years her and I would do "meth" together all the time. In 1996, I was a single mother of 3, on welfare and selling/doing meth. My mother and my other sister asked my kids and I to move to Orange County, CA and two weeks later, we were gone. We left and that was the turning point for me to get my life together and stay off drugs. Now, my sister Joann, who is a heroin addict, calls after 1 1/2 years to tell us she has had a baby. Unfortunattly she was using while she was pregnant and the baby had to go through detox.One minute Joann says she is clean and is working hard to get the baby back. My mom and I have offered to bring her up here to live to get her away from the life she is so used to. I know for me, it was the best thing I have ever done, and I thank God everyday that there were people who wanted to help me. And now, I am able to do the same for my sister. But after seeing the show, reading your story and reading Erins journal. I am scared. Scared, not only that my sister wont be able to stop using for good, but mostly for my kids. I dont want them to see her go through withdrawls if she does slip. Or even worse, they come home and find her high or even dead. I just don't know what to do. I dont know if I should take the chance. My mom and my other sister took a chance on me when they brought me up here, but I wasnt using heroin, only meth. After the television show i saw tonight, I realize my drug habit was nothing compared to heroin. I also feel that since I was given a chance to start a new life with family who loved me, I can give back by doing the same for her. I just dont know what to do!! I am truly sorry for your loss.I can only imagine the heartache you have. I have a 14 year old daughter and as she gets older, it scares me to know what I havegone through,and my sister and Erin and you. Thank you so very much for having this on the internet. Until tonight, I didnt realize just how dangerous heroin is and how it destroys lives. Not just the person using, but everyone around them. As much as I would love for my sister and her baby to live with us, I have to wonder is it really the best thing. They may come and Joann may be lucky like me and take advantage of the opportunity to start a new life. But if they come up and something happens to Joann, I cant take care of another child. I cant take away from my own kids. I dont even know if the baby is going to have any kind of problems since she was born with heroin in her system. I wouldnt be able to financially take care of her. I just dont know what to do. All I know is that if there is any chance for Joann to get clean and make a better life for herself, she wont be able to do it if she stays where she is at. She would have a better chance up here. But...do I take the chance??? I am sorry for making this "Condolence" about me. I just dont know where to turn, or who to talk to. Talking to Joann is useless, because she is still lying and told me tonight that the last time she used was 3 days ago. I am so torn with this I cant even sleep at night which is already affecting my life and my kids. I do want to thank you for sharing yourself and Erin with me. You helped me to realize and think about things I hadn't even taken into consideration. The only real information I had about this terrible drug was what I got from my sister and that, Im sure now, was just some candy coating she wanted me to hear. If you have any advise or know of anyone I can go to for some help, I would greatly appriciate it. I know you are going through a lot and if this is hard for you or painful I do appologize. I will understand. Again, thank you for sharing yourself with me. It has helped me more than you know. Sincerely, Emma Jones
Emma <Ejjonz88@aol.com>
Irvine, CA USA - Tuesday, March 14, 2000 at 03:20:32 (EST)
They say that all things happen for a reason, and sometimes we never find out what the reason is, and that is the hardest part sometimes. My boyfriend is a heroin addict, and we have been together on and off for 2 years. I've been there through the bad and now we are happily together through the good. He had been on methadone for a year now and will be detoxing soon, and I am somewhat scared, but he is too. So all I can do is be there for him. He has been a totally different person since he started the methadone and thats when our relationship became serious, and we are very much in love now. I know how hopeless you felt when she was alive, because I went through that too. My boyfriend has lost a friend to heroin , and all of the others are in jail or homeless. It is so sad that something can control a life like that. Heroin is a very complicated drug to understand. I am going to school studying psychology to be a drug counselor. I know that I can not cure these lost souls, but maybe I can make an impact on just one person throughout my whole life and that will be a huge accomplishment. My mother's boyfriend heard you speak at Harford Community where I attend and I was very upset that I couldnt make it. She said that you really touched her, and even though I didnt hear you speak, Im sure you would have done the same for me. I cant say that I know how hard it is to lose a child because I am only 20 yrs. old, but I give my deepest sympathy. When you said about how she liked that Pink Floyd song that just reminded me of my boyfriend, and every time I hear that song it reminds me of how many people young and old are suffering from this deadly desease. Now it will remind me of you, and I will pray for everyone when I hear it. I think it is absolutely great what you are doing, and I wish that more people would follow in your footsteps, so that all of the others who are oblivious to the problem can be aware.
Jenn <Mit8004>
MD USA - Monday, March 13, 2000 at 20:55:49 (EST)
Marie, I am a student at Lake Forest. The whole assembly was basic like I expected. Your presentation touched me. Put me in tears... I don't cry easily but your story made me think about life and how our generation works now... I work with children everyday and I can only imagine being a parent and going through it all. My heart goes out to you, may GOD bless you and your family. R.I.P. Erin ... <3
Amanda S. <Beautee123@aol.com>
Felton, DE USA - Saturday, March 11, 2000 at 17:36:23 (EST)
dear mrs allen, i just wanted to say that i heard your story when you came to lake forest high school with the new castle county police. I personally began to cry, and i knew everyone around me was too it was heartbreaking how one little incident could cost someone their life. The assembly was all that was talked about for the rest of the day, and i had that pink floyd song stuck in my head the rest of the week. I am very sorry for your loss and i really think it took alot of guts on your part to go infront of all those people and tell her story. You have reached out to many people in my community and i commend you for that.Thank you so much
JEREMY KRABILL <LAKEPRIDE02@AOL.COM>
FREDERICA , DE USA - Friday, March 10, 2000 at 19:44:22 (EST)
The students involved in community service at my school, Cherry Hill High School West, are subjected to an assembly every month. I manage to maintain my respect during every one, but many students are loud and obnoxious while the guest speaker is talking. However, when Mrs. Allen spoke to our school today, silence covered the room. I let a few tears fall down my face, thinking, as if she were my own mother. The thought of seeing any mother lose a child, especially over something that could have been avoided, breaks my heart. As I looked around the auditorium, I noticed many of my fellow classmates crying, especially those that are known for acting up. We've sat through many "don't do drugs" lectures before, but I have never seen one affect people in such a way. It's ashame that it takes something like this to get people to understand. My prayers are with the Allen family.
Julie Rothman <ThankYouAlanis@aol.com>
Cherry Hill, NJ USA - Friday, March 10, 2000 at 15:38:52 (EST)
I am sorry about Erin, and feel sorry for the people out there do the same thing all they need is help and I know that it will take some time but if they try their best every thing will be al right . God Bless you! And most of all take care.
Jazmine Carter <www.superlady@hotmail.com>
Tallahassee, Fl USA - Friday, March 10, 2000 at 13:24:57 (EST)
The story of your daughter was amazing. It affected me greatly. The entire presentation was excellent but I think that your portion was the most effective on everyone. Even after doing so many talks, it must still be very difficult to tell your story. My heart goes out to you for having the strength to stand in front of a crowd of children and tell an extremely emotional story. I cannot imagine the emotions that I would feel if one of my close friends were to die from something so tragic. I hope you continue to travel and talk to many other schools in the area. I am sure your tale will touch many people and change lives. Our thoughts and prayers go out to you and Erin at Lake Forest High School!
Dan
Frederica, DE USA - Friday, March 10, 2000 at 11:20:30 (EST)
I am very sorry about what happened to Erin. I don't know what I would do if something like that were to happen to someone close to me. You must be a very strong person. Thank you for coming to my school and talking about this. Your presentation was very moving, and it made me think about my friends, and what would happen if any one of us did something like that and died because of it. Hopefully I wasn't the only person you inspired to really stay drug-free. May God be with you and your family.
Amanda <mysteria469@hotmail.com>
Felton, DE USA - Thursday, March 09, 2000 at 23:50:24 (EST)
I would Just like to say, sorry, that must have been so hard on Erin, you and her family. She sounded like such a wonderfull, smart, sweet and caring person that did not deserve to get mixed up with that afull drug and die. I am 14 and I am doing a repot(brosue) on heroin and everything negative about it, ( which I have learned there is nothing good about it). Your story has inspired me to never do drugs or drink alot ever. I have only learned the little facts about heroin and that is all I need to never even touch the stuff. I am so sorry about your daughter, Im sure she is in a wonderfull place now. God bless you.
Katie <perky11k@aol>
USA - Thursday, March 09, 2000 at 22:46:56 (EST)
I would like to thank you very much for sharing your story with my school. I went into that auditorium and expected to get lectured about how bad heroin was and that we shouldn't do it. By listening to your story, it made me realise just how horrible that drug is.I would not be able to stand up in front of an entire auditorium and give a speech as painful as that must have been for you. I just wanted to let you know that it made me really think about drugs and their reprocutions on everything. Thank you again for sharing your story. I am greatly sorry for your loss!
Jen <Spinner913@hotmail.com>
Felton, DE USA - Thursday, March 09, 2000 at 14:57:13 (EST)
I just wanted to say i am sorry for the loss of ur daughter and i don't know what i would feel like if anything like that every came so close to my life. U must be a very strong person on the inside and outside to have delt with all the problems in the world. thank u for talking to use it hit a deep place in my heart and i know that other people feel the same way. i just wnated to say thanks.
Steve <backstroke1999@excite.com>
Felton, DE USA - Thursday, March 09, 2000 at 11:42:27 (EST)
coke is the best i don't know y you people stop i love weed 2 it's the best and right after heroin oh my god just 3 words it's the best
patrik carlin <viper3000c@aol.com>
miami, fl USA - Wednesday, March 08, 2000 at 20:39:35 (EST)
I'm very sorry for the death of your daughter,when I read her story I cried for her and myself, and many of my friends that I know. I to am an addict I am trying very hard to quit, but it seems to be stronger then me. everyday that I think I'm getting better I go and shoot-up again. I really hate it, I just need to heal the pain I feel inside. My brother is also a herion addict, I fear for him so much, he does alot more then I do. You can tell by looking at us that are body and soul's are almost dead. Again, I'm very sorry Erin had to die. And I just hope everyday I don't die or anybody else I care about from this very evil drug.
Jen
Milton, Pa USA - Tuesday, March 07, 2000 at 14:18:22 (EST)
Dear Mrs. Allen, I am very sorry for the loss of your daughter. you spoke yesterday at washginton high school and the story of her life really touched me. some people don't think that they could ever go through these kinds of things, but they are wrong. from looking at the clips of pictures that you were showing before you even started talking, if i had not known what the assembly was about, then i don't think that i would have ever thought that Erin died from an overdose. i guess she just didn't look like that kind of person. i really learned a lot from you sharing erin's story with us students. it has taught me to show a lot of respect. mostly to myself. i promise myself never to do drugs, and if i see anyone or know of anyone who is having an addiction problem, i will try to help them. i would not want to see their family or friends go through such great pain for losing a loved one to herion or overdose. thank you very much for sharing erins story. may god bless you and your family!
Danielle White <baysidechamps99@hotmail.com>
Westover, MD USA - Tuesday, March 07, 2000 at 11:12:39 (EST)
Thank you for sharing Erin's life. I'm very sorry for your loss. I was searching on the internet when I found your Erin's story. I guess I'm looking for some answers because on this past Valentine's I lost my niece to Herion. Her name is Dea and she was 18 years old. We all miss her so much. But thank you for your story.
Debbie Gicker <DLGick@aol.com>
Wilmington, DE USA - Monday, March 06, 2000 at 19:18:32 (EST)
Thank you for sharing Erin's life. I'm very sorry for your loss. I was searching on the internet when I found your Erin's story. I guess I'm looking for some answers because on this past Valentine's I lost my niece to Herion. Her name is Dea and she was 18 years old. We all miss her so much. But thank you for your story.
Debbie Gicker <DLGick@aol.com>
Wilmington, DE USA - Monday, March 06, 2000 at 19:18:21 (EST)
Marie I've known you for a long time I remember when we worked together and you would talk about your two girls. Being the mother of 2 teenagers I worrie every day about what is out there every day challenging my kids. I know it doesent matter how well you raise them someone will try to get there attion in some way. I hope and pray it wont be the wrong thing.Sending you my prayers for the strength to face every day.
Gale Elliott <Purrfect44@aol>
Newark, DE USA - Saturday, March 04, 2000 at 19:03:24 (EST)
mrs. allen, i would like to thank you for hosting our assembly in aghs last week, you told a touching story and it must take incredible strength to do so over & over again. 2 of my cousins are on H as we speak, and my father forbids meeh to speak to one of them, the other just had a baby in her best friend's apartment basement, a couple months premature. my aunt didn't even know she was pregnant. the child is small, and cries for hours on end to no avail. her name is chelsea, and she will never have a normal life due to the decisions her mother made while pregnant. she is 30 years old. as for my other cousin, i love him dearly, but with his H abuse, he's become very violent towards other people... including his wife, who was driven to leave him... taking his 3 month old son with her. after that incident, i was told i could never see him again. i miss him, and i wonder where he is right now. he's 32. i offer my condolences to you, and wish you strength to spread the word as much as you have to... because hopefully, it will touch others like it did to meeh. good luck & god bless.
Lindsey - AGHS Student, Sophmore
New London, PA USA - Thursday, March 02, 2000 at 16:58:01 (EST)
Hey, I read the story of your daughter and it's touching. I've been using heroin for 2 years and I just realized I have to stop, no matter how bad I want it, I can't do it anymore. What can I do? I'm only 18, I can't throw my life away more than I already have.
Tyler <tyluvsdacocaine@wwfwcw.com>
USA - Monday, February 28, 2000 at 22:08:42 (EST)
i am freek and i am an addict too i was deeply touched by the story of Erin. I am only on methadone now and i am trying to quit i am on 52 mg from more then 200. I am very sorry about your lost daughter i had to cry. i am 33 years.
freek bok <freekbok66@hotmail.com>
beek , lb the Netherlands - Saturday, February 26, 2000 at 23:47:41 (EST)
Mrs.Allen, Thank you for sharing Erin's story with our school the other day. It really hit close to home because she was the same age that my brother is now when she died. I think that it is important to share Erins story because so many people don't know the effects it has on others. Your story deeply touched me and I am sorry for your lose but I think every time you tell that story you save one more life from dieing of an over dose of herion. I admire your bravery and courage and once again thank you for sharing your story. Becka
Becka <Puppett02@aol.com>
Avondale, PA USA - Friday, February 25, 2000 at 16:23:12 (EST)
Mrs. Allen, thank you for coming to our school and sharing your story with us today. Your daughter was a beautiful person and my heart goes out to you and your family. Up until now, I really hadn't thought too much about drugs because I thought I would never be affected. Today though, I was affected greatly. Listening to your story made my decision to stay drug free. And though you can not get Erin back, i wanted to thank you for talking today because I know that you have saved so many people just by telling your story. You are a very strong woman and I will keep you and your family in my prayers. Thank you.
Gina <Ginak0915@aol.com>
West Grove, PA USA - Thursday, February 24, 2000 at 21:48:14 (EST)
Dear Mrs. Allen, Thank you for coming to Avon Grove today. Your story and courage really touched me. It also made me really sad. I know I will never use heroin because I wouldn't want to put myself, my family, or my friends through all that pain. I just hope that other kids learned from your story too. There are just so many kids that are ending up just like Erin and it's really sad. I think it's wonderful that you are telling Erin's story and trying to prevent other people from making the same mistake that she did. Thank you so much again.
Meg
New London, PA USA - Thursday, February 24, 2000 at 21:32:52 (EST)
Hello Mrs. Allen, thank you for coming to Avon Grove High School today. I am drug free and will continue to be for the rest of my life. Your story touched me and i think it touched a lot of others too. Erin sounded like a great person. You are doing a great thing by telling people your story about Erin. You are very strong. Keep telling people about Erin because it really touches many. Once again, thank you for visiting our school.
Jon <zawislak@snip.net>
Landenberg, Pa USA - Thursday, February 24, 2000 at 19:24:48 (EST)
Dear Marie Allen, Thank you so much for coming to the Avon Grove High School today. The life of your daughter, Erin, touched me in so many ways. I couldn't hold back the tears. You are a very strong person and I admire you. I hope you are able to tell Erin's story to as many people as possible. You influenced me greatly to stay Drug free! Thank you again, Katie Satchell
Katie Satchell <Katelegz@aol.com>
West Grove, PA USA - Thursday, February 24, 2000 at 17:50:43 (EST)
Hi Mrs. Allen, I just want to say thank you for coming to my school today(AGHS) and sharing your story with our entire school. I admire your courage for standing up there and telling that story, not once but twice. I had already made a decision to stay drug free a long time ago but hearing you speak just made my decision solider. I was sitting there in between two of my best guy friends and you made me realize that when a person does drugs they don't only hurt themselves but others. I mean I already new this but to see you there, it caused me to look at my two guy friends on either side of me and realize that I'd never even consider putting them through all of that pain of me making a bad decision. No one deserves to go through that pain. Thank you for your time.
Sarah <SaAsRo@aol.com>
Avondale, PA USA - Thursday, February 24, 2000 at 16:20:36 (EST)
Hi Mrs. Allen,
Sarah <SaAsRo@aol.com>
Avondale, PA USA - Thursday, February 24, 2000 at 16:15:16 (EST)
I CRY AS I WRITE THIS...YET I AM HEROIN FREE. HEROIN TOOK THE LIFE OF SEVERAL FRIENDS AND MOLESTED MY 9 YR OLD DAUGHTER... I HAD TO LOSE MYSELF AND FIND 'JESUS CHRIST' AFTER THE FACT TO REALIZE WHAT HAD EVEN HAPPENED. I FEEL MORE THAN ANYTHING IN MY RECOVERY...THE GUILT OF WHAT I PUT MY 4 AND 6 YR OLD CHILD THRU...THEY LIVE...BUT WITH SO MANY PROBLEMS...GOD WHAT HAVE I DONE.....////// I HATE MYSELF FOR THIS...AND YET I AM HEROIN FREE ..HOWEVER..AFTER 1 YR AND 1 MONTH OF HEROIN AND COAINE ADDICTION.......I STILL CRAVE IT...I FEEL I WILL NEVER LOSE THAT CRAVING////AM I A LOSER HELP
TIFFANY <TIFNED69>
DALLAS, TX USA - Thursday, February 24, 2000 at 01:20:30 (EST)
Dear Ms. Allen, I sympathize w/ the loss of your daughter and especially w/ her being so young. My "BIG" sister is in a rehab for heroin as i write this. When you spoke today at my school i found myself in tears throughout almost the whole assembly b/c i could relate my family w/ the other stories and about when you began speaking i was extremly upset. All i could think of was my sister, my hero, could die like this. She has been away for almost 2 months n except for when she was pregnant this is the longest she has has clean in over 3 years. It amazes me how someone can clean up for 9 months and go right back to heroin. I am just grateful that she did clean up for my neice's sake though b/c it is thanks to my niece that she is still alive n i kno that and i love my niece more everyday just for that fact. As you told Erin's story i could totally relate except for my sister didnt have an alcohol problem she had a mental problem. My life has been a bunch of ups n downs b/c of her but never again will i tell her i hate her, or say i wouldnt care if she died b/c listenin to you speak today made me realize that i don't know if i could go on w/out my sister. She is one of the greatest people i know when she is drug-free. She is an excellent sister, mother, daughter, n friend. I am extremly sorry for your loss but i just hope that my sisters turns out differently. I don't want her to be another young heroin victim. She is only 18 and like your Erin did, has so much more left to live. Also thank you for talkin to my school community. I believe the program really opened eyes to the problem that is taking over our area. and hopefully will save other lives. Thank you from the bottom of my heart.
CEC Student
Philadelphia, PA USA - Wednesday, February 23, 2000 at 23:26:30 (EST)
Dear Ms. Allen, i sympathize w/ the loss of your daughter Erin, and especially with her being so young. My
CEC Student
Philadelphia, PA USA - Wednesday, February 23, 2000 at 23:12:09 (EST)
Hello Mrs. Allen. I'm a student at Holy Ghost Prep at which you gave a presentation today about Erin and her unfortunate struggle to fight drug addiction. Unlike some of the other people who have sent their condolences, I have not, nor have ever used drugs. But if your daughter's story was powerful enough to make me want to learn more about the dangers of heroin, then think of how much it must have affected people who are really suffering from this evil drug. You're very brave, and you're doing a wonderful thing. Keep Erin's memory alive. Thank you.
Matt DiMarino <walker626@hotmail.com>
Philadelphia, PA USA - Wednesday, February 23, 2000 at 18:45:04 (EST)
hi mrs. allen, thanks a lot for coming to my school and talking to me about Heroin and giving some true-life stories. I really enjoyed the presentation, i never knew most of those things about it. I know some people that are considering heroin, and now i will definitly convince them it's a real bad idea. Sorry about losing your daughter,at least she won't suffer anymore and you know that shes not off somewhere hurting herself. good luck with your talks in the future your friend, jason
jason trzaska <blue5552@aol.com>
bensalem, pa USA - Wednesday, February 23, 2000 at 11:40:09 (EST)
hi mrs. allen, thanks a lot for coming to my school and talking to me about Heroin and giving some true-life stories. I really enjoyed the presentation, i never knew most of those things about it. I know some people that are considering heroin, and now i will definitly convince them it's a real bad idea. Sorry about losing your daughter,at least she won't suffer anymore and you know that shes not off somewhere hurting herself. good luck with your talks in the future your friend, jason
jason trzaska <blue5552@aol.com>
bensalem, pa USA - Wednesday, February 23, 2000 at 11:39:30 (EST)
Dear Mrs. Allen and family, I am a Conwell-Egan student and heard the presentation this morning on heroin abuse and on the life of Erin Allen. I cannot even express how deeply moving it was, hearing a mother speak about the life of her daughter and her struggle with addiction. I admire the strength of the family, how you are able to tell Erin's story and hopefully affect the lives of others. Thank you again, and you have my sympathy. Catherine Howell, '00
Catherine Howell <cedh_82@hotmail.com>
Morrisville, PA USA - Wednesday, February 23, 2000 at 11:34:43 (EST)
I'm very sorry for your loss. You have a lot of courage to tell your daughters story. You really brought the herion problem to life. Once again THANK YOU>
Egan Student
USA - Wednesday, February 23, 2000 at 10:26:00 (EST)
Mrs Allen, thank you for sharing Erin's story and I am very sorry for your loss. I saw the presentation last evening at Bishop Conwell/Egan High school in Levittown, Pa. I am a recovering heroin addict that is fortunate eneough to be alive today. For me, I was lucky enough to stumble into the doors of a methadone clinic. This was after several attempts to get clean using other means of treatment. After hearing Erins story and finding out she was on a clinic in Wilmington, Delaware, the same one that had two other young girls as patients. These girls, and you are probably aware of also continued to use heroin while on methadone. I am a methadone advocate, one of the things I advocate for is adequate dosing. I truly believe that if your daughter and these other 2 girls were adequately dosed there continued use would have stopped. There are studies that prove this. To many clinics do not provide adequate dosing and as a result people, kids DIE. Heroin wants you dead, plain and simple!! Please keep carrying your message, our young people are to important to us. Jim
James P Connolly (Jim) <jimpcon@erols.com>
Newtown, Pa USA - Wednesday, February 23, 2000 at 04:56:43 (EST)
i am truly sorry for the tremendous pain of your loss. i'm 27 and fighting everyday not to let heroin kill me. i've been clean for 20 months and 11 days. my mom had me arrested to get me into treatment, i thank her over and over. your story is inspiring and i commend your bravery to stand tall and share erins' story to us all. i pray for you and your family. erin will now be in my heart and never forgotten.....thankyou.
Deinna Granato <maddkatt27@aol.com>
utica, ny USA - Tuesday, February 22, 2000 at 20:22:19 (EST)
i just want to give you my deepest sympathy...i am a recovering addict 108 days who loved my coke and heroin also...i was reading sum of these other little letters to your family and your daughter was really alot like i see myself this day...today. i am 20 yrs old and her story through me fer a loop cuz i looked at myself just now and said to myself that if i dont start takin THIS rehab seriously my next overdose i will be dead....i dont want to leave my parents in pain as i see your in. heroin is a demon disguised in the most beautiful package *relief*. i just want you to know your daughters story touched my life and i know shes chillin in her better place happy as ever
bridget herald <vampress_gidgee@excite.com>
rochester, ny USA - Tuesday, February 22, 2000 at 19:11:50 (EST)
i just want to give you my deepest sympathy...i am a recovering addict 108 days who loved my coke and heroin also...i was reading sum of these other little letters to your family and your daughter was really alot like i see myself this day...today. i am 20 yrs old and her story through me fer a loop cuz i looked at myself just now and said to myself that if i dont start takin THIS rehab seriously my next overdose i will be dead....i dont want to leave my parents in pain as i see your in. heroin is a demon disguised in the most beautiful package *relief*. i just want you to know your daughters story touched my life and i know shes chillin in her better place happy as ever
bridget herald <vampress_gidgee@excite.com>
rochester, ny USA - Tuesday, February 22, 2000 at 19:10:12 (EST)
I'm looking for something to do to help. I'm a recovering addict who is especially sensitive to trying to alleviate the suffering of withdrawal, and of course a cure. Addicts in this country need to be de-stigmatized. We are killing them by treating them like animals instead of seing them as human beings. There needs to be a simpler solution for them. Let's get this thing out in the open now. I'd like to hear from anyone with good ideas. Don't bother to "set me straight" because I stand for one thing: permanent recovery. Period.
Bill Keenom <bkeenom@teleport.com>
Portland, OR USA - Monday, February 21, 2000 at 18:22:48 (EST)
Ms. Allen; i recently had a chance to hear erins story when you presented it to upper dublin high school students. I just wanted to thank you for that. I dont think anybody in that auditorium had any idea what a murderer heroin is, some of those people still may not, but i know that i do and i know that many others do. The first half of the aasmebly was just so graphic that it hurt my stomache just to look but when you spoke, it hurt my heart just to listen. BUt i am glad that i did. people in my life have probmlems with drugs and i feel as though erin's story has given me more stregth and hope to help me help them. i know that they can only be helped if they want help but i now know that i have to atleast try. i cant just watch them die and do nothing. I have to try just as you did. Even if it means failing the 1st time or the second time or even the tenth time. I have to keep trying to help them. I admire your strength for sharing your personal life with the world, especially teens. Thank you once again and you and erin, i will never forget.
anonamous <anonamous>
philadelphia, pa USA - Monday, February 21, 2000 at 17:25:16 (EST)
I am a recovering addict myself and your story brought me to tears. The young people out there today do not realize that this disease wants their life. I changed completely when I was using drugs, I didn't care who I hurt or what I had to do as long as I got the next blast. I pray everyday that all the still using people come into the rooms of narcotics anonymous. It saved my life, but only because I wanted it. I've got almost 5 months clean and it has been the best 5 months of my life. I am 35 yrs. old and used for 23 years, but there is a much better life ahead of me. For anyone still using, give up using for a year and if your life does'nt get better the drugs will still be there. Give yourself a chance. I admire the Allen family for trying to alert and inform others. I am truly sorry for your loss and will keep you in my prayers.
Lori Scott <las9264@aol.com>
Balto, MD USA - Sunday, February 20, 2000 at 23:08:35 (EST)
I haven't been stoned in years. I am thinking about it now. I have even gone to score. I am afraid. I am really ashamed. I use to be a junkie. Not I run a methadone clinic. I use to be illiterate. Not I am at the end of my Masters Degree. I use to have my children in the care of Social Services. Now they are with me and graduating from university also. What the hell is wrong with me. Does this never go away. I am so ashamed that I am writing into the internet to stangers.
Nanci Morrison <mikemorrison@cableregina.com>
Canada - Sunday, February 20, 2000 at 09:30:01 (EST)
I AM SITTING BY THE PHONE WAITING FOR THAT CALL. SHE HAS CALLED ME SEVERAL TIMES TODAY, JUST LIKE EVERYDAY THIS WEEK. SHE IS HOME ALONE, 2000 MILES AWAY. TRYING TO WITHDRAW ON HER OWN. MY DAUGHTER HAS BEEN IN 5, 6. OR 7 REHAB. FACILITIES. I CAN'T BE SURE. SOMETIMES SHE TELLS ME, SOMETIMES NOT. I DO KNOW FOR A FACT THAT SHE WANTS TO BE CLEAN. A MOTHER KNOWS HER CHILD. SHE ALSO KNOWS IF HER CHILD IS CAPABLE OF MAKING IT. THIS TIME I AM NOT SURE.
NOT IMPORTANT
USA - Saturday, February 19, 2000 at 23:18:51 (EST)
Thank you for sharing your daughter's story. It has truely touched my heart. I think it is absolutely wonderful that you are willing to share your experience with the world, making people, especially those of us in our adolescent years, aware of what can happen. I will keep your Erin and Marijo's Loui in my heart and prayers.
Beth <Beatriz35@aol.com>
Sayreville, NJ USA - Thursday, February 17, 2000 at 22:01:36 (EST)
I am so sorry for the loss of your lovely daughter, I too lost my daughter to heroin. It is a terrible thing...all the young people we are losing to the drugs. My Prayers are with you and your family, I know how deep the pain goes. Bless you, Betty
Betty Flores <bginlisa@netzero.net>
San Diego, CA USA - Wednesday, February 16, 2000 at 01:27:39 (EST)
Marie very sorry about your loss.But what you are doing is exceptional .Keep it up.
catherine b <bampadde cat @aol.com>
BOSTON, MA USA - Wednesday, February 16, 2000 at 00:13:46 (EST)
Marie very sorry about your loss.But what you are doing is exceptional .Keep it up.
catherine b <bampadde cat @aol.com>
BOSTON, MA USA - Wednesday, February 16, 2000 at 00:13:38 (EST)
Marie very sorry about your loss.But what you are doing is exceptional .Keep it up.
catherine b <bampadde cat @aol.com>
BOSTON, MA USA - Wednesday, February 16, 2000 at 00:13:35 (EST)
by sharing your story about your daughter, you are helping so many different people deal with similar frightening problems. your courage and bravery are certainly making your daughter proud, as she looks upon you from heaven.
manda and adriana
philly, pa USA - Tuesday, February 15, 2000 at 20:41:05 (EST)
To: Mrthingy Bookmark the HOTLINE URL Page (self help list) You'll need it... http://www.heroinalert.org/hotlines.htm
Kitty <mkt_sys@yahoo.com>
Wilmington/Newark, DE USA - Monday, February 14, 2000 at 09:08:44 (EST)
Thank you for bringing Erin's story to our area. My respect for you is beyond limit. It is my hope that Adam's story will be as powerful in alerting and alarming others of the deadly effects of snorting. He first snorted in November 1996; we removed life support on Dec. 10,1996 following his 4th dose. Some people walk into our lives and leave footprints on our hearts - you have mine! Let's look to widening awareness of the bipolar disorder link also! My prayers are with you. Mary Lou
Mary Lou Kufta <mlkufta@hotmail.com>
Wycombe, Pa USA - Saturday, February 12, 2000 at 15:40:12 (EST)
Man, you people are screwed, heroin is tha best that can happen to you! The warm feeling as it takes you off your feet, the way it cuddles you in its smoothness and the ideas it gives you are amazing. I've been a constant user for 5 years and I ain't dying, heroin is not the killer the people who betray it are their own killers. It ain't matter if you're dead and everybody weeps 'cause you don't care, YOU are feeling well and it ain't anybody else's life. Heroin might take your life but it's a good ruler if you ask me.
Mrthingy <pvezina@hotmail.com>
USA - Friday, February 11, 2000 at 23:28:52 (EST)
mrs. allen, i wish that beautiful and wonderful people, such as erin, were saved from this deadly drug, herion, but she is in a safer place where the drug can no longer harm her. my thoughts and prayers are with you and your family.
melissa
philadelphia, USA - Thursday, February 10, 2000 at 17:48:08 (EST)
Dear Mrs Allen, I hears you tell your doughter's story on the 7th of February at Central Bucks East High School and it moved me so profoundly, that still today, the 10th, I am still upset about it. The first part of that assembly didn't turn me off too much to doing heroin but once i heard your story, I decidet to never touch heroin. EVER! I attended the program through the Assets for the Communtiy and Enviroment, from Lenape Middle School and would like oyu to talk to our school if you could. If you would like you can call John Breece at Lenape. You can get the number from me by e-mailing me, i just don't feel comftorable posting it. Thanks and i'm very sorry. Thanks Again, The A.C.E.S. Program
Justin L Zimmerman <jimbobjoe_2000@yahoo.com>
Doylestown, PA USA - Thursday, February 10, 2000 at 16:27:07 (EST)
Dear Mrs Allen, I hears you tell your doughter's story on the 7th of February at Central Bucks East High School and it moved me so profoundly, that still today, the 10th, I am still upset about it. The first part of that assembly didn't turn me off too much to doing heroin but once i heard your story, I decidet to never touch heroin. EVER! I attended the program through the Assets for the Communtiy and Enviroment, from Lenape Middle School and would like oyu to talk to our school if you could. If you would like you can call John Breece at Lenape at (215)345-0660. Thank you very much, and i'm very sorry. Thanks Again, The A.C.E.S. Program
Justin L Zimmerman <jimbobjoe_2000@yahoo.com>
Doylestown, PA USA - Thursday, February 10, 2000 at 16:25:50 (EST)
Hello Marie. My condolences to you and your family. Thats all.
Kevin Cavaluzzi <reech18@yahoo.com>
cortland, ny USA - Thursday, February 10, 2000 at 11:24:50 (EST)
when I read your story It relly hit home. I've been struggling with the drug and the pain in my soul is intense. My best friend I grew up with has been a serious drug addict for years. when I look in to his eyes I see a dead man walking. He used to be bright and have so much potential, now he is a walking zombie. He has been through about 5 rehabs and he is worse now then ever. Every body has given up on him, it is so sad I'm scared that he will be dead soon but there is nothing that can be done. I hate heroin, it is evil. I have cut down my usage but every time I have a bad day or get depressed I run to the feeling to get away from reality. The feeling is so intense that it makes all emotions and feelings numb. Please pray for my friend and for me. I am cleaning up but still have relapes. My faimly is very strong and they help me alot. But my friend's faimly has given up. I feel the only way he will survive is a miricle. If he does not clean up he will die or be in prison for the rest of his life. He, like your daughter, is not just another junkie. he is a bright funny fun person when he is sober. Please pray for him. Please pray that peolpe are not introduced to the drug because there is no turning back. I don't want me or my friend to end up dead. But I AM SCARED AND FEEL HELPLESS. only god can help us now.
a LaMonica
Bosie, id USA - Thursday, February 10, 2000 at 03:55:14 (EST)
Dear Marie I am so sorry for your loss - my family are expecting a similar situation to arise shortly - why do they do it? That seems to be the eternal question. My twin brother is an addict and nothing seems to be working. We've tried intervention, detox, methadone, counselling, but it all seems to be spiralling downwards. I just worry every time he jumps into a car he doesn't kill another motorist or pedestrian. I wish I could save him but how can I? He doesn't want to save himself. I am looking for answers but can't seem to find any.
Susan <s.parker@its.unimelb.edu.au>
Carlton, Vic Australia - Thursday, February 10, 2000 at 00:30:54 (EST)
Marie-- Hello I am a sophmore at Central Bucks West High school, and today during 4th period we were called down for an assemby, on heroin. Now of course my peers and I just thought this was gonna be another cheesy don't do drugs lecture, but after seeing the graphic pictures and then hearing your daughter's story I realized more then ever before just how really horrible heroin is. I felt my eyes tearing up, because a few people I know are in or have been in some situations like this. There was a guy I used to really like a lot and he was an occasional drug user. The last 2 years however he has gotten to such a zombie-ish point. He is currently in a mental institution in another state with permanent brain damage. He used to be popular and really good looking, but faded into a braindead waif doing anything to get high. That is just one of a few stories I can tell. It's so horrible to see so many people doing such a stupid drug. My friends and I greatly appreciated the program today, and we learned a lot from it. My condolence goes out to you and your family. I think the program I saw today will make a lot of people think twice about doing herion or any other drug for that matter. Sincerely, Melanie 16
Melanie <punkgrrl@mindspring.com>
Doylestown, PA USA - Wednesday, February 09, 2000 at 17:55:09 (EST)
Dear Marie, Recently I have heard you speak at my high school and it was the most powerful speech that I have ever heard. Hearing Erin's story made me cry so many tears and treasure everything that we have in life. Everyday I think about Erin and the speeches that you have given. Every night your family is in my prayers and God bless you.
Judy <PoloPrep2121@aol.com>
Chalfont, PA USA - Wednesday, February 09, 2000 at 17:45:28 (EST)
DEAR MARIE, I JUST WISH LIKE YOU AND YOUR FAMILY THAT ERIN DIDN'T HAVE TO BE TAKEN FROM YOU LIKE THAT. IT MAKES ME SICK THAT ANYONE, AND AT AN AA MEETING COULD BE SO DISGUSTING AND CAUSE SUCH MISERY IN SOMEONES LIFE. LIKE I HAVE BEEN SAYING FOR YEARS: MISERY LOVES COMPANY.SOME PEOPLE ARE SO MISERABLE THAT THEY ACTUALLY LIKE TO MAKE PEOPLE GO DOWN WITH THEM.I REMEMBER IN SCHOOL (I am 45 yrs. old) when people use to do things purposely to make you do bad things, like reverse psychology, actually these days we call it peer pressure, but i remember sometimes just because someone wanted me to mess up that I would do the opposite and agree with them and do as i pleased which meant ignoring they're nagging me. Can you believe i still remember that ? I taught my son Jason, 18, the same growing up, and even if sometimes they have to learn on their own (mistakes) at least he knows that some people don't really have good intentions. YOU WILL BE WITH HER AGAIN SOMEDAY AND TILL THEN I KNOW IT HURTS. LOVE, Maria
MARIA D. HUDANISH <SHANEENASKY@aol.com>
FLETCHER, NC USA - Friday, February 04, 2000 at 00:24:32 (EST)
She was beautiful - just like my son - I would like to shoot every pusher there is
cheryl <davcher@aol.com>
bakersfield, ca USA - Monday, January 31, 2000 at 02:39:42 (EST)
Hi , im a recoving heroin addict. I heard you speak while I was in the program at Mountain Manor. Your story made me cry because i realized I was going to die if I continued to shoot heroin. It was never so serious , I always thought it was a joke or just like other drugs. I just want you to know that your story about your daughter was one of the main things that has helped me get sober . Thank you so much.
afellowrecoveringjunkie <cobykay@home.com>
columbia, md USA - Sunday, January 30, 2000 at 22:27:45 (EST)
Dear Marie, I am not sure you will get this to add to the register, but I just wanted yu to know that my Loui (Elizabeth Erdek) has good days and bad days, just like her mom. Her dad and I have family sessions with Loui and my ex-husband is now mor or less forced into counseling. I counseled all my married life because I raised my step-son from the age of 10, and I wanted to be a good mom and not be the wicked Cinderella's step-mom. I call him mine because he is mine and I did my best with him, and my other 4 children. Their destiny is in God'd hands and I have no power over that. In Jan. of 1998 I resigned (divorced at the time)from a very good job. My Manager highered me knowing I would find something to stay busy even though the new residental sales sight would be boring and a long day. She most resently told me that I even put a vacuum together for the sales trailer. I now am seeking a full time job with benefits. It is very hard to live on $50 a week. My Loui's father's plant is now closing, but he has something behind him, I worked the medical field as a medical assistant and front dest receptionist, but I am having a very hard time getting a job. Maybe my saddness comes across in an interview, I don't know, but my Loui is now clean and has good days and bad days, but she does promise me she won't run from the court ordered rehab. I pray very hard she won't ever run, but mostly that she makes it clean, and can help another throught their addiction. She is the only one to know what it is like to be addicted. I never touched anything and it is very hard trying to convince my children that I would not know marijuana or poison ivy if I was walking through it. At their ages they don't beleive me, but some day they will. My Loui has so much to offer this hard world and help another. She is trying very hard, and probably fighting with her own feelings right now, but I know she will do her best. She received your letter and was so happy to get it. She is an open young girl and has said to me when she was in juvenile hall awaiting to go before the Judge, that she can relate with Erin's story and addiction. She said she has done it all and their is no faking it with her. She is an up-front 17 year old. I pray to St. Jude and to God that she will make it so she can help another chioe and/or parent through this. Right now all she knows is that she wants her family. She is clean and knows what family is all about. We used to call her the babysitter of the block. She loves people and mostly babies. I thank you for helping her by writing her a letter at Daytop in Mandhan, NJ. She was so very happy that you did. I guess in a child's world, she never though it would happen or could happen. Thank you for helping my Loui and all those that need you in such a life of turmoil. Their confusion must really take over and there addiction must really be a strong one to fight off. I will say a pray for you and your family but mostly for your Erin, She has given you the strength to help the police and other kids. I know God will bless you in a very special way. Because you are A very Special Lady for giving your time and help to help others. Thank you for helping my Loui (Elizabeth Erdek in her time of need. I don't only have my Loui, but 2 son's that have to admit and get themselves help. I pray God doesn't take them from me. I love them like you love your Erin. Good wishes to you and all you do. You are a very big support and help for me also. Thak you MaryJo Erdek bubs4440@ monmouth.com
MaryJo Erdek <bubs4440@monmouth.com>
Laurence Harbor, NJ USA - Friday, January 28, 2000 at 23:45:28 (EST)
Dear,Marie I read your story about your daughter.My mom {my aunt sister}was doing the samething your was doing.My prayer goes out to you and your family.Lucky my mom is now in jail and getting HELP .We hope when she gets out she don't go back down that wrong road.It was funny when my aunt,cousins,and I was sitting at the computer and someting told us to look up Heroin and we read your daughter story,everything in that story bought back memorys about the things my mom went through.It touch my aunt dearly.My family and I will put Erin in our prayers and can your family please put my mom { my aunt sister}{Val is my mom's name}in your PRAYERS.GOD BLESS U AND RIP FOR ERIN!
PAT PRICE <SMARTSEXYMOM @aol.com>
richmond, va USA - Friday, January 28, 2000 at 22:52:27 (EST)
Dear Marie: I wrote you a letter of thanks, but also that I tho ought my daughter to hear from you again. She is in a Rehab, Daytop Mandham, NJ 80 West Main Street Mendham, NJ 07945. I think she needs another pep talk as you put it to me, originally, She is having a hard time and I know that is part of the process. There is another mother from our town who goes to a support group, It must not be helping her much because she seems to still want to blame her sons addiction on everyonelse, Nobody laid my child down and stuck the needle into it, she tried in and got hooked on heroin. I don't know if I can control myself for my Loui's healing and success, even if this time a around she finds it to hard to make it. My big problem is that when I try to email you, they come back to me as a Mailer Demon, so I am not sure you ever get them. Elizabeth Erdek is my daughter in Daytop in the rehab, but I call her Loui, do youu have another new email address and not giving it out because of so many moms and dads seeking out for help from you? can you please email me you address. My email address bubs4440@monmouth.com is case sensitive, so you must use all lower case letters. Pleawe write my Loui if you get a chance at Daytop Residential center 80 West Main Street Mendham, NJ 07945. Thanks for all you are doing helping the Police with these children. I do believe in my heart that they are all good and have much potential for this hard world. They have been there I don't know what they could be going through but I do know I don't blame it on anybody else. They are good in their heart, but are addicted, and all the kids I spoke to want to get better and clean and stay clean. I know that my daughter has to much to offer this world not to go on and do so. I pray real hard, and tell her to write and pray to her uncle Brian (my Brother) whom she never met), but has the one and only hold card with a prayer on the bac of it. The Saint on the front is my favorite, and she is a good kid like all of them. they all played cocer as little children, so there are many I know going thru this heart ache as we all have and still do. I pray that your Erin gives my Loui the strength she needs to fight this addictions. Please if your email changed, may I have it. the one I have is alle@delant.com MaryJo Erdek. God Bless you and all you do.Thank you. MaryJo
maryjo erdek <bubs4440@monmouth.com>
Laurence Harbor, NJ USA - Friday, January 28, 2000 at 11:22:02 (EST)
I am very sorry to here of your loss and it scares me even more because I have two daughters who attend Mt. Aviat Academy. I a truly grateful that you took the time to start this website - it was both an eye-opener and a chance to hear first hand what this drug can do. May God (and Erin) watch over you and help you to get through the difficult time you and your family must be going through. I don't think I will ever be able to forget your daughter just from the little that I have read - She will always be in my prayers.
Lauri Witte
New Castle, DE USA - Monday, January 24, 2000 at 18:16:38 (EST)
Thank you for this story. It is so sad to hear about Erin, but I hope your story will truly be a blessing to others....I am a 29 year old single mom of a 3 1/2 year old little girl. I have been through so much myself and I wish only for the best for her. thank you so much for sharing your story, It has truly opened my eyes. May Erin finally rest in peace.
Jamie Clark <Starryjlc@aol.com>
Terre Haute, IN USA - Saturday, January 22, 2000 at 19:38:09 (EST)
Marie, first let me tell you how truly sorry I am about the loss of Erins life, I know the saddness that it brings on a daily basis, the way you see kids her age and wonder, the time your driving to the store and hear their song, all the little things that people don't think about. Those are the things that bother you most. I lost my daughter the same way. We are devestated and will be so for the rest of our lives. But unlike you I am not out patrolling the streets, giving lectures on heroin, or taking the world by storm. I commend you are your takings. I have met many mothers through this web site who are in the same situation and have found them all to be extremely strong women. YOU HAVE TO BE. I had originally read this site a couple of months ago at the request of Ross (crewinme@aol.com)I read all the stories that were here on the wall. I thought about putting my daughters story up but didn't. I came back a few days ago and seen how much it had grown and decided that MAYBE, just maybe one more story could reach one person and save them. I could forgo my privacy for that.So I put Mirandas story in there. And then today I was watching A&E on Heroin and Women and you were there. I knew I recognized the name. When it was over I came here, to write to you to tell you that I am thankful for people like you. you have the courage to stand in front of people and tell the world your story,so that you can help people. And when your laws are passed that people like you and Sharon are trying to regulate maybe they will come up here to Canada, we need them too. thank you Yvonne
Yvonne <yranks@home.com>
Mission, BC Canada - Friday, January 21, 2000 at 22:23:26 (EST)
Your Erin is an angel filled with light and peace and wholeness... she was called by God to help others... I am sending her story to my 20 year old daughter's e-mail... who also began her heroin addiction in Kensington 3 years ago... and is now struggling to stay clean. Your loss is not without reason and Erin's sacrifice is a gift to those in the darkness.. she will be the angel of light and healing for those troubled souls who come here in hope of finding an answer.. a clue... I feel strongly that my fears have to be replaced with hope.. that Erin will touch my child's heart and help make her whole.. because we have work to do... God's work.. from the heaven's like Erin is doing.. and here on earth, like you are doing. Love and light.
Bright Light <thehealinglight@angelfire.com>
FL USA - Friday, January 21, 2000 at 19:08:16 (EST)
I'M SORRY FOR YOUR GREAT LOSS.
CASSIE <DCASSYC2791@AOL.COM>
QUEENS VILLAGE, NY USA - Thursday, January 20, 2000 at 13:06:08 (EST)
Dear Mrs. Allen. I'm a friend of your daughter Theresa. I'm a teacher at the Art Institute of Philadelphia. While she was a student at AIPh I rarely if ever spoke to her. She was remote and quiet and I was pre-occupied. But, I definitely did notice her. As I told Theresa...there was something in her eyes that made me believe that she was just another one of the young just out of high school students. I couldn't put my finger on it. Anyway, a couple of months after she quit school she and I started talking on the net. She's told me that she has spoken to you of me. Well, I was right she is not the average just out of high school student. She's an amazing young woman..who in the past five weeks has changed..for the better...noticeably in my eyes. I don't know if you know but..she is quite a talented writer. She definitely has a way with words. Theresa introduced me to your daughter, Erin's, website. Although Theresa had told me about Erin in some detail seeing the photographs and especially reading Erin's eloquent and very self aware diary entry is very very moving. I would like to talk to you some time...i don't think Theresa would object..if she does..well then.. Anyway..my home phone is 609 747 0601. On another matter, I have a colleague at AIPh named Marsha Mills. Marsha is one of my best friends there. She's a graphic designer. She has 3 children..the youngest LUCAS is like your daughters a very talented young man from what Marsha has told me. He is also a recovering alchoholic and heroin user. He just returned to high school after spending many months in the first successful rehab of his life. Well..I'll let Marsha tell you the rest. She is looking out for any and all support. I have turned her on to my best friend, Jim, who got started on heroin in VietNam and has been clean for 28 years. But, as he tells me the memory of "how good" it was still lingers. Anyway, Marsha Mills' e mail is "millsrunner@aol.com". I am giving Marsha your name and this website address now. Take care. Rest assured, I'm Theresa's friend. She needs friends who arent' out to use her. I think I'm a refuge from much of the craziness that swirls around the world. Sincerely, Mark del Costello
Mark del Costello <triune@bellatlantic.net>
Burlington, NJ USA - Tuesday, January 18, 2000 at 04:34:27 (EST)
MARIE, to you and your family all my prayers and love... Erin surely is a very special child. thru you her memory and love lives on..and so does the help that so many need. My husband and I are very Blessed Our son now has 3 years clean. he struggles everyday but knows... I belong to and helped form a Coalition. We advocate for parents to help get thier children help.. You and your family will forever be in our prayers.. Much Love Kathleen
KATHLEEN DOBBS <KDLVSDD@AOL.COM>
BARRINGTON, NJ USA - Monday, January 17, 2000 at 18:04:02 (EST)
MARIE, to you and your family all my prayers and love... Erin surely is a very special child. thru you her memory and love lives on..and so does the help that so many need. My husband and I are very Blessed Our son now has 3 years clean. he struggles everyday but knows... I belong to and helped form a Coalition. We advocate for parents to help get thier children help.. You and your family will forever be in our prayers.. Much Love Kathleen
KATHLEEN DOBBS <KDLVSDD@AOL.COM>
BARRINGTON, NJ USA - Monday, January 17, 2000 at 18:03:38 (EST)
MARIE, to you and your family all my prayers and love... Erin surely is a very special child. thru you her memory and love lives on..and so does the help that so many need. My husband and I are very Blessed Our son now has 3 years clean. he struggles everyday but knows... I belong to and helped form a Coalition. We advocate for parents to help get thier children help.. You and your family will forever be in our prayers.. Much Love Kathleen
KATHLEEN DOBBS <KDLVSDD@AOL.COM>
BARRINGTON, NJ USA - Monday, January 17, 2000 at 18:03:27 (EST)
I can really relate a lot to Erin's story, but I am still trying to fight dope and for the last eight months I have been winning. Alot of people need to realize that once you become hooked on heroin it becomes your only true love, but today I don't have an affair with it . It still baffles me how a substance with no feeling or essence ruled and dictated my life. I am 20 and hope each day to continue to walk alone because its better than having something pulling at me. I thankyou Mrs. Allen for all the education you have been giving people since Erin passed away if it saves one person it makes a whole world of difference.
liz <lercolan@netscape.net>
Newark , DE USA - Sunday, January 16, 2000 at 20:06:27 (EST)
As a recovering heroin addict with over a decade clean, I found myself welling up with emotion when I read your pages. I am so, so sorry for your loss. The saddest part of my recovery has been watching the parade of people who, for whatever reason, either cannot or will not remain abstinent. I have no answer to this heartache, but support your efforts in spreading the message that "Addicts Do Recover". God Bless you and your family.
It doesn't Matter <Exfeend@hotmail.com>
CA USA - Monday, December 27, 1999 at 04:51:00 (EST)
dear erin, your mom just sent me a letter and so i decided to come check out your story. you sound a lot like me. i am 20 years old, im a heroin addict. i struggle staying and getting clean. right now im 2 days clean and feel like hell. im scared to die so im not using. im tryinso hard to stay strong. i wonder why some people have to go through this, and others dont. soemtimes i think its not fair. i know ultimately we decided to start drugs, but its almost like theres a switch missing in our brains the stop/go switch..its stuck on go. i wish taht things had been easier for you. i wish that you didnt have to die. but maybe in your death others will realize the danger of addiction and others will see that its not fun. i wonder about heaven sometimes. i wonder if up there, you dont hurt anymore? it hurts so bad to have cravings but for me im trying so hard and im shaking while i tyupe this. i hope you are at peace. i hope you no longer have that empty aching inside.i wonder if it doesnt hurt any more up there in heaven. thats what i wish is for it to stop hurting to stop feeling empty when i have none and pathetic when im using. i hope that you are with god and watching down on us, smiling. i pray that your family finds peace and happiness, and realizes that theres nothing they did or didnt do. god bless.... ross
ross <crewinme@aol.com>
dallas, tx USA - Wednesday, December 22, 1999 at 17:34:29 (EST)
I have a brother on heroin and i kind of know what you went through. myself and my little sister and mother are going through hell. i've tried reasoning with him but its gone too far. i hate seeing bad things happening to good people
Rajesh Thanki <Anon.com>
Nothampton, England - Tuesday, December 21, 1999 at 10:40:36 (EST)
addiction is a crazy desease that will take you down many roads that you would never imagine. it seems Erin tried to fight her addiction but her life was ruled by the almighty drugs. sorry Erin, hope life is better on the other side.
Ben
pa USA - Wednesday, December 08, 1999 at 14:28:11 (EST)
I didn't know Erin but I'm lucky enough to know her sister. From what Erin's family has and will continue to accomplish in her name, she must of been a beautiful woman. I congradulate the Allen family. Instead of letting her memory fade, they have shared her with all of us and sent out the message to never give up fighting. My father is a drug addict, so I can understand the emotional stress and heartache a family goes through. Everyday I thank God he is still alive and I pray that he too, will never stop fighting.I'm sorry you lost your daughter. Thank you for sharing your story and courage.
Ruby <pandora_isis@excite.com>
Philadelphia, PA USA - Wednesday, December 01, 1999 at 23:06:57 (EST)
I was deeply touched by the page from Erin's journal. I know it will help many who read it. With your permission I would like to have it translated into the Russian language to use in my substance abuse programs in Russian High Schools beginning in 2000. Through this govt. endorsed program thousands of hurting young people will be confronted with the dangers of heroine and other drungs. May God continue to give you the strength to cope with Erins loss. Sincerely. Pastor Paul Steffens
Paul Steffens <p.steffens@gte.net>
Syosset, NY USA - Wednesday, November 17, 1999 at 11:01:43 (EST)
Thank you for posting this. I needed something to show my mother that my younger sister's herion addiction IS a big deal. I am about to become the legal guardian of my three year old newphew. How can I possibly explain to him why his mommy just doesn't care enought about him to be with him any more?
Pat Clark
Phonix, Az USA - Friday, November 12, 1999 at 16:15:26 (EST)
Hello, I am so sorry for you and your family. I too lost my son Ian to a heroin overdose, September 10,1996. He was only 20 years old. My husband and I have been inspired to speak out do to his death. We have given over 80 presentation in the tri state area. We have spoken to over 8000 people. The program is called the Courage to Speak Foundation, Inc. Nobody can really understand this horrible loss as much as we can. We hope we are making a difference in the world. Ian would expect this of me and nothing less. The program is dedicated in his memory. I am so sorry for your loss. Ginger
Ginger Katz <gkcourage@aol.com>
Norwalk, CT USA - Tuesday, November 09, 1999 at 15:51:31 (EST)
My heart breaks for you and your family,may God bless and keep you strong.
Kim <Ldy8407834@aol.com>
Gray, Me. USA - Tuesday, November 09, 1999 at 13:38:37 (EST)
Wow..what a sad story. I used to beat myself everyday because I didn't try to get my son into jail. It looks that wouldn't have helped either. Just goes to show you how addictive this drug is. Anyway, I'd like to know more and I'll add a link on my son's site to this one. More need to learn from this horrible story. Finally, my heart aches horribly from the loss of my son. I know what it does to a family and I feel for all who have to endure. We need to stop this madness somehow.
mike jones <mikejone@ix.netcom.com>
Salisbury, NC USA - Tuesday, November 02, 1999 at 12:38:18 (EST)
Marie; You know my struggle with my son's addiction, and I love you for keeping Erin's memory a live and giving me the courage to continue. Your friend Ginny.
Ginny Lanczkowski <GinBobski@AOL>
New Castle, de USA - Monday, October 18, 1999 at 11:49:29 (EDT)
Erin will never be forgotten...I LOVE YOU ERIN, NOW AND ALWAYS!
Theresa Allen (Erin's sister) <allen98@delanet.com>
Philadelphia, PA USA - Saturday, October 16, 1999 at 02:12:40 (EDT)
My heart goes out to you. As a mother who has lost a child to Heroin, I feel your pain and grief. With each new death I hear about or read about its almost as if I have lost Tony again. My son Tony died on April 23rd 1998 in his room, he had been home only 11 days from a 60 day rehad program. He was just 24 and had been struggling for 5 years with his addictions. Erin's story sounds so very much like Tony's. She sounds like a wonderful girl. It gives me great comfort knowing that Tony is now with someone like Erin. May the White Light of the Holy Spirit surround you and keep you safe. Dee Georgette & My Son Tony Begg Jr.
Dee Georgette <DJGeorgette@skiorsky.com>
Derby, ct USA - Friday, October 15, 1999 at 10:52:44 (EDT)
My heart goes out to you. As a mother who has lost a child to Heroin, I feel your pain and grief. With each new death I hear about or read about its almost as if I have lost Tony again. My son Tony died on April 23rd 1998 in his room, he had been home only 11 days from a 60 day rehad program. He was just 24 and had been struggling for 5 years with his addictions. Erin's story sounds so very much like Tony's. She sounds like a wonderful girl. It gives me great comfort knowing that Tony is now with someone like Erin. May the White Light of the Holy Spirit surround you and keep you safe. Dee Georgette & My Son Tony Begg Jr.
Dee Georgette <DJGeorgette@skiorsky.com>
Derby, ct USA - Friday, October 15, 1999 at 10:52:32 (EDT)
thank you for sharing Erin.
Jennifer R.
Wildwood, NJ USA - Thursday, October 14, 1999 at 17:19:06 (EDT)
I just completed reading the story about your daughter and all I can do is cry. I am a recovering drug addict myself. I've been clean for 8months now. I only wish she could have found the peace that I have now. Sincerely Debra
Debra <Limoman7@gateway.net>
moselle, MS USA - Sunday, October 10, 1999 at 00:48:48 (EDT)
My 20 year old son, Matthew, is an addict. I live in fear every day of my life waiting for the same thing to happen that happened to you. Parents really need support. God Blless you, Anita
Anita Barber <bbarber@atlantic.net>
Williston, FL USA - Saturday, October 09, 1999 at 22:13:17 (EDT)
thank you for telling Erins Story. She was beautiful inside and out.
Marsha
Baltimore, Md USA - Saturday, October 09, 1999 at 18:26:26 (EDT)
Allen Family, Everyday I spend with you I learn a little more how truly amazing all of you really are.
Romi Allen <alldun@delanet.com>
New Castle, DE USA - Saturday, October 09, 1999 at 11:29:22 (EDT)
I saw a talk show yesterday and heard about your support group. That's how I found you. Now I won't forget. Love and prayers to you all.
Ron
lynchburg, va USA - Saturday, October 09, 1999 at 07:53:04 (EDT)
Mike - Thank you for the donation of your time space and energy in helping us bring this sorrowful message to the world. . Marie, (Erin's MOM), Thank you for sharing your story to help others - as painful as it must be to relive time and again ... . Marie has given up her career to educate against the horrors of Heroin/drug addiction. She now works with the Police in a program "Heroin Alert" and brings her sad personal story to the public. To contact Marie or to contribute to the Erin Allen Memorial Fund Please write to: Erin Allen Memorial Fund, c/o Marie Allen, 40 East Main Street, SUITE 240, Newark DE 19711
Kitty Valera <mkt_sys@yahoo.com>
Wilm, DE USA - Wednesday, October 06, 1999 at 09:17:41 (EDT)
Dear Kathryn thanks of the words of encouragement. Hopefully by tell Erin's story some lives will be saved. Marie Allen Erins MOM
Marie L Allen <alle@delanet.com>
wilm, de USA - Tuesday, October 05, 1999 at 20:47:31 (EDT)
i wanted to say that i am sorry about your erin. she sounds like such a special person. the family must be devastated. it is such a tragic thing but i want you to know that what you are doing by educating people is a very good thing. i, myself, would know having spent much time driving in and out of the streets of kensington philadelphia for that awful drug. i am sorry how she was treated at the morgue with such ignorance. people are very ignorant about it i have found erin's story really meant something. thank you really meant something to me
kathryn sawl
ringoes, nj USA - Monday, October 04, 1999 at 12:23:17 (EDT)

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